# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
