Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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