just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
