He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
