What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
