I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
