So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
