If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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