yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
