dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
