..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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