no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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