the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
