Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
