Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
