He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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