That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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