the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
