I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
