Tell her she can't have a vagina
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i dont even know how to be here
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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