piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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