I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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