my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
