I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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