I seem to have left my pride at pride
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
