can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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