so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
then he tried to convert me to islam
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
