sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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