At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
