addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
