At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
