do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
