im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think I died a long time ago.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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