i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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