So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
