Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
