just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
