How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
