so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
