fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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