WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need moral support for this bender
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
