another moral hangover. fuck.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
