just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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