there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
