ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
