Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
