you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
