I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
