A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
