i was born a porn star she said
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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