apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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