Can Purell be used as lube?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Found the puke drawer
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
