it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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