Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
