If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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