"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
